Agreement with the enemy - Pre-emption contract (21.)

The situation between us began to intensify. Jealousy, in particular, reached new heights. He was jealous of everything and everyone. Basically, I couldn't stay anywhere, visit my neighbor, browse the shops... Nothing. He didn't like my job or my friends. I had to report all my movements in advance. He checked my phone and purse, and my things mysteriously disappeared, only to reappear miraculously in other, completely illogical places.

 

Since he regularly disappeared to pursue his "hobbies," the phrase "Where have you been so long?" was joined by a new one: "I couldn't have done it because I wasn't here."

 

Our relationship progressed to another level, which was not very livable. However, pointing out my shortcomings was no longer enough to satisfy him, so he stepped it up. As they say, he turned the "volume up" to a higher level of humiliation, ridicule, and emotional blackmail. But I was getting fed up with it all. Always listening to how useless I was and how I did everything wrong, only to be praised to the skies a moment later for how clever and smart I was. Especially when he needed me to do something he didn't want to do. It was just sugar and spice.

 

Sometimes it was such a rollercoaster ride that my head was spinning. I always said to myself "For God's sake, make up your mind! Am I stupid and clumsy or the best woman in your life?"
I'm quite a "go-getter." I was easy to push around, but as soon as something crossed a certain line, I dug in and went for it, no matter what. And that red line was starting to reach its limit.

 

A colleague at work bought an apartment in Milovice at the time. It was after our "friendly" troops had been withdrawn. There were lots of empty and rather "run-down" prefabricated buildings undergoing gradual renovation. It wasn't difficult to find a relatively cheap apartment. I didn't hesitate for long and contacted a local real estate agency. The chance of having my own apartment was a driving force for me. It gave me new impetus and hope.

 

But I didn't have the money to pay the deposit on the preliminary purchase agreement. But I'm a go-getter. Determined to try absolutely everything. My advisor, who was literally everywhere at the time, came up with a perfect yet simple combination of savings and loans so that I could finance everything. What an amazing woman! She deserves thousands of thank-you letters or a medal.

 

Since we were already divorced, I was free to make all my own decisions. He couldn't interfere. I didn't have to say or explain anything. He didn't know anything. And why should he? There was no reason. It was my sweet secret, known only to my daughter and my colleagues at work, who helped me with the guarantee. All that remained was to wait for the construction to be completed, which had just begun.

 

It's interesting how a secret like that can encourage a person and recharge their batteries. Now all I had to do was hold out for about a year, look forward to it, and slowly set aside some money for basic equipment.

 

19. I'm sorry—I know you meant well. It just got out of hand somehow. If I had been more confident from the start, maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. But it happened. You actually taught me to be self-sufficient. Not to put up with everything. To have pride and dreams. I know. It was a struggle before I figured it out. Did I really?