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Saying NO - how to learn it and why is it important for us?


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In today's hectic times, when our attention is constantly distracted by various obligations and requests, the art of saying "no" is a challenge for many of us. Some individuals often feel social pressure and expectations that hinder their ability to set boundaries and stand up for their own needs. Learning to communicate your refusal is the key to a more satisfying life.

If you don't know how to say no, you can very easily end up overwhelmed with work, promises to friends to help with construction, or books to review. Your inner, or even real, desk is full of responsibilities and the space is dwindling, so it just keeps piling on and on.

Do you recognize yourselves? Here are some tips on how to get out of this situation...

 

1. Determine your limits and needs

Before you start saying "no", it is important to understand what you really need. When you know what is important to you and are clear about your priorities, it will be easier to decide when to say 'no'. Remember that saying 'no' is not selfish, but it is a way of looking after your physical and mental health. The next time your boss asks if you can stay overtime, tell yourself what is more important to you. Pleasing your employer, or spending the afternoon with the kids or your book?

 

2. Learn to say things clearly

Saying "no" requires confidence and self-assurance, but you also need to be clear. Keep in mind that you don't have to give a long explanation or justify your decision. A clear and confident "no" is much better than "I don't know if I can" when someone asks you if you are willing to go the extra mile to do something you don't want to do.

 

3. Give yourself time to think

Sometimes the phrase "I need to think about it" can be very helpful. Don't make a decision right away if you are unsure. This will give you time to think about whether you are willing or able to accept the request.

 

4. Learn to resist manipulation

Probably the most important point. Some people may try to persuade you to say "yes" and will use various tactics such as guilt, insistence, or emotional blackmail. Learn to recognize these situations and stay firm in your decision. Your boundaries are just as valuable as theirs. You are not inferior. And if the person is offended by your rejection, that's their problem.

Learning to say "no" is not an expression of reluctance or conceit, but an expression of healthy self-love and self-care. It is a way to free yourself from unnecessary stress and overwork. After all, when we can say "no" in the right places, we give ourselves the opportunity to say "yes" to things that are truly important and valuable to us. Plus, remember that saying a clear no to the other party is good for them too, they know they have to go elsewhere and you're not holding each other up.


So, can you say no? Have you ever experienced a situation where a simple no would have saved you a lot of trouble and time?

P.S. Did you know? In the early 18th century, industrial workers worked up to 16 hours a day, over 3,000 hours a year. Back then, saying no at work was impossible, losing your job was equivalent to living on the streets starving.



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Background Photo of the author Rina Vevesi!
Picture of the author: Rina Vevesi!

Rina Vevesi

Jihlava, Czech Republic

For me, writing is like opening a gateway to a new world - you never know what will be there, but it's always worth it!...

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