Taking care of the home or what Brazilian women can pass on to us
How are you doing with the cleaning?
I don't mean the classic labels of "tidy" or "messy". That would probably be an article in itself, and I don't think it's that simple. I'm wondering what your ATTITUDE is to taking care of your home?
No offense or putting on your nation - I get the impression that the old "communist" principles often still linger in our country. The care of the home is usually more on the wife, even though nowadays both are gainfully employed. Women often feel like servants or slaves in the home, and although they would like to change this, most of us are still subject to the unspoken rule that 'a woman can only rest when she has done everything. Help is not asked for - even when it is explicitly offered - so that we can say that 'we are self-sufficient', 'we do not have to ask anyone', and 'we are not a burden'. Of course, much is improving, but in talking to other women, I don't see that they have a particularly positive attitude towards home care and feel comfortable doing it (and just between you and me - I've been looking for this path myself for a few years now). So it came in handy when my family and I went to Brazil for two months (see the Christmas Under the Southern Cross series), and I was able to see the attitude of Brazilian women.
In Brazil, it is not uncommon for a woman to have to fill many roles at once. Maybe even more than in our country. Social differences are great here, and for the poorer part of the population, the living conditions are incomparably more difficult than in the Czech Republic. One thing that fascinates me about the Brazilians is their undying optimism, which can be seen in their very Portuguese expressions. The area of household care is one where this is clearly visible.
Leaving aside the fact that more affluent Brazilian women often and happily take advantage of paid domestic help, no one takes this as the person in question 'making something more of herself'. Usually, such help is seen as mutually beneficial because it usually also gives employment to another woman from a poorer background. And it is not uncommon for the mistress and the helper to meet together for lunch and have a friendly relationship.
I shall now deal only with Portuguese:
While we refer to a woman who is not gainfully employed by the neutral words 'housewife', Brazilian women usually refer to themselves as dona da casa, that is, 'mistress of the house' or 'mistress of the home'. The term housewife - although I know some amazing women who are "just" housewives and perform almost miracles in and out of the home - unfortunately often causes at least amazement and raised eyebrows in Czech society, as if the person in question is missing out on something important when she is not chasing money and is fully devoted to her family. It is such a dona da casa who shuts up all skeptics just by introducing herself. Or would you feel the need to let the lady of the house know that she is missing out on something important? Probably not - she is, after all, a queen who knows exactly where her realm is and rules it wisely.
The second aha moment came when a friend and I were chatting about cleaning. She wanted to say that she was a tidier, so she referred to herself as rainha de limpeza - "Queen of Cleaning" or "Queen of Cleanliness". Dear women, do you see the difference? Can you feel the healthy confidence?
And so I would like to pass on to you what I tried myself right after I returned to the Czech Republic - try to stop cleaning and taking care of your home for a moment and consciously give yourself the feeling of being a queen. Beautiful, wise, and able to manage your kingdom well. I know, it's "just" words and a little girly imagination. But when we replace our perpetual "no one will do it for us," "it's messy again," and the like with a conscious experience of being a queen and appreciating what we do as truly important service, then we will exude something very different. And even that much-needed help or support might show up ☺
